omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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