i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
