She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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