I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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