Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
