I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
