I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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