3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
