Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
