the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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