he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
