oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
