if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
