Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wear drunk well.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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