do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
