I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
