WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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