My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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