Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
