sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
