i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize