Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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