How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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