this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
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