dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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