didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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