no you cant smoke seaweed
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You made out with two different species that night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
