he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
