So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
PANTIES FOUND
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