never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize