There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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