thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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