so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
