There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
