drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
