I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
