idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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