There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize