Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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