her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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