i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
