On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
