I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
