To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
