oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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