where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Congratulations! We have a period
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
