dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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