the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
