she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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