Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
