I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
