i would punch a child for taco bell
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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