We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You did what with his pubic hair?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
