Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
