he referred to my room as the tit cave...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she pinky promised me she was 18
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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