i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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