Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize