It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
