SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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