I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
