I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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