I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
