So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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