dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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