do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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