You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
