i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
