i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have aggressive nipples.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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