is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize