You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
